Dirty Pidgin

Ice Cake

2011-04-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

Braa-aaa-aaang!

da bell wen ring
backpacks on,
slippah's on da hands,
nuttin' on our feet

we wen race behind da buildings
cut behind da office
down da rainbow color lanai
tru da ti leaf and red ginger
to da cafeteria
as fass as we can
cuz we wuz hoping for
da moss rarest treasure of all times...

Da Chocolate Ice Cake!

Tree an' in Love

2011-04-14T22:14:00.000-07:00

Small kid time
Had only Tree tings I truly loved:
my red rubber boots,
my scoop net,
and ice cream

when i was about tree
I wen love ice cream so much
I wen wake up suppa early
befoa everybody else ( bumbye I get caught )
an' i wen pull my little red chair
all da way across da kitchen floor
in front of da ice box
foa get to da ice cream

I wen love ice cream so much
I wen sit in front of da tv
stay watching cartoons
an' i wen wack one whole half gallon by myself

my love affair wit ice cream
was so frickin' intents
my fadda had fo' put one lock
ontop da freeza...

cuz i was Tree
an' in Love.

Saturday Morning Spam & Eggs

2011-04-14T21:39:00.000-07:00

Sweet dreams...cut short
by da aromatic alarm clock
das wafting in tru my room
an' da familiar crackle and pop
of da frying pan

I roll ova ontop my back
wipe da makapi'api'a
an' jump outta bed,
racing into da kitchen
cuz get Saturday Morning Spam & Eggs!

Pidgin - English Translations

2011-04-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

Bumbye - Sooner or later

as in: I goin' come ova dea bumbye

K den - Farewell

as in: Hui braddah, i stay goin'. K den.

Shoots - Yes ( in agreement )

as in: Wot, you like go beach?
Shoots.

Da Kine - Whatchamacallit

as in: Eh! Your bradda dem's house stay by... Da kine?

Quiksand

2011-04-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

quiksand
take me by the hand
give me a mirror
so i can watch myself sink
surrender
succumb
no fight
amused by my apathy
solace in the instability
comfort in the fragility
refuge in the inconsistency
mocking myself merrily
happily descending
into peaceful plunder

Dining with Emotions

2011-04-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

Swallowed my heartache
drank away my guilt
consumed my insecurities
devoured my inhibition

savored the tears
choked on the joy
sipped happiness
doggie-bagged fear

nibbled on forever
wet my appetite for love
re-fill of infatuation
shot of sincerity

parched for honesty
chugged hope
sent certainty back
another round, please

Portrait

2011-04-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

moments frozen in time
hold more lies
than the truth of everchanging lovers

black and white
smiles and laughter
stare mockingly
jeering in contempt

Episodes parade across my mental television
Re-runs of raw emotion
Fists, Kisses, and Embraces

who we were
not who we are
merely memories for better or worse

sweet retribution
flame
swirl
and dance

Snack Time

2011-03-18T21:59:00.000-07:00

small kid time
snack time was always da bessesses
all us guys wen sit on top da lanai
and buss out wateva our madda wen pack us

but I was always confuse
cuz my madda usually wen pack me oatmeal cookies or one granola bar
but dem guys madda's
wen pack dem kakimochi, hurricane mix, or nori

i neva did understand how come my snack was so junk
nobody eva like trade snack wit me

some guys even had plenny snacks
dey would trade fo' da odda guys one
but mines was junk
so dey neva trade me

one time nick tomita wanted fo' trade wit me
one pack nori for one granola bar
I neva had nori befoa, but all dem guys had
so i wanted fo' try em

i wen open da wrappa, all excited
but wen i wen try em, i wen spit em out
so nasty i thought
and everybody wen laught at me

Dis Yea' goin' be One Good Yea' cuz...

2011-01-10T21:31:00.000-08:00

Stoked on one new year
get choke inspiration fo' do plenny stuffs
I feel like i get one fresh start
Imua...move forward

Dis yea' going be one good yea' cuz
I get choke friends for cruise wit
Dis yea' goin' be one good yea' cuz
I goin' take time fo' do stuffs i neva do long time

I goin' surf moa
I goin' grind ono kine grindz
i goin' write moa
and I goin' meet plenny new pepo

Dis yea' goin' be one good yea' cuz
I goin' listen, dance, and sing
Dis yea goin' be one good yea' cuz
I goin' meditate and stop fo' smell da plumeria's

I goin' write
I goin' dream
I goin' change
I goin'...stay goin'....go

Gemini...to da Max!!!

2009-10-01T20:10:00.000-07:00

Let me begin by saying, I was born May 26th
So, I stay one Gemini
I get multiple personality or some shit,
Wateva

Many times I find myself caught in one dilemma
Like I not sure which direction I should go
Cuz I get pulled from both sides
but neither side can win... STUCK ...like Doo Doo.

For instance, my name is Keola
which is one fantastic name, one Hawaiian name
I am Hawaiian
but cuz I get fair skin...da name confuses people

Dey always like, "You Hawaiian?" "You Sure you Hawaiian? "You no look Hawaiian?"

"Wot, you get Hawaiian in your big toe?"

I like tell dem,

"Yeah my Big Toe goin' sing you some falsetto, win the Kamehameha

song contest, and dance in the Merrie Monarch...cuz he's Hawaiian.

Hawaiian is Hawaiian...skin is not Hawaiian...Brown is not Hawaiian.

But dats not my only dilemma,
I'm also in dis awkward place of wanting for be one,

Eco-friendly, unimperialistic, non-capitalistic, entrepreneur who sells coffee and DIY art... for profit.../...fashionista in one urban environment while respecting my kupuna, traditionally and contemporarily simultaneously.

...among other things.

WTF.

Frickin' Gemini.

Spam vs. Hot Dog

2009-09-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

Ova da summer, was so FRICKIN HOT, we had for go to the waterpark. Granted, da waterpark is in Kapolei, which is pretty much Nanakuli wit one nicer name, and its hot as hell out dea... BUT we wen go anyway. SO, of course we was hungry by lunch time and we wen go wait in da line at da concession stand like everbody else. I wen overhea one haole lady behind me talking to her daughter and da conversation went like dis:

Haole Lady: (southern drawl) I can't believe they ACTUALLY sell Spam around here. We went into the 7-11 the other day and they had these things called Mu-su-bi. It's like Spam with rice. Disgusting.

Daughter: (slight southern drawl) That is SO Gross. Spam's Nasty.

Haole Lady: So what are you gonna have for lunch, darlin'?

Daughter: I think I just want a hot dog, chips , and a Coke.

Haole Lady: That sounds good. I think I'll have that, too.

As I wen stop for ponder this conversation, I had one simple realization...Spam and Hot Dogs are the SAME THING!!! They both stay processed by-products of da pig. So how come Spam is Public Enemy Numba 1 and Hot Dogs are da Great American food? According to da statistics, Americans consume 20 BILLION hot dogs a year!! The 7 Billion eaten in the summer could stretch from Chicago, da hot dogs Mecca, to Frankfurt, Germany, da hot dogs homeland 125 times.

Nothing stay more American than stuffing your face wit processed meat...As long as you call 'em one hot dog, NOT Spam. Dis is Joey Chestnut, da Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest Champion. He stay one American hero for beating the former champion, Kobayashi, of Japan. Chestnut has won da past 3 years in a row.

This pass year, Joey Chestnut wen eat 68 hot dogs in da Nathan's contest. He broke his own World Record! If he wen eat 68 cans of Spam dey would call him one terrorist.

Ka'ena Point Cruisin'

2009-09-07T17:23:00.001-07:00

Liliuokalani, Jude Boy, and I wen holoholo up Ka'ena Point today.

Was so much fun! Jude-boy and mommy wen explore da tidepools.

Jude-Boy wen swim for da first time by hisself.

We wen find Sea Salt.

Buggah was Ono!!!

An' we wen cruise down to da Old Waialua Sugar Mill

for pay homage to da origins of Pidgin, da plantation.

Kumu Kahua = Da Bess Deal in Town

2009-09-04T22:34:00.000-07:00

The Territory of Hawaii is Kumu Kahua Theater's current production. Kumu Kahua Theater, in my humbo opinion, is da BESS deal in town. Its one small theater in town on Merchant Street that gets pass by so much times, but still hides out. Da Buggahs ova dea produce "Plays about life in Hawai'i, Plays by Hawaii's playwrights, Plays for Hawai'i's people." Students get discount wit tickets only 5 bucks and everybody else is only $10-15. Da tickets for go watch movies is like $10 bucks and half da time da movie was junk anyway.

I wen watch last months production which was "Da Mayah" written by Lee Cataluna. Was so Funny. An' da sad part was dat the theater was not even full. So if you get da chance, try check 'em out. Cuz it's good fun ova dea. Plus too, get Murphy's right across da street for befoa and after drinks!

I going watch "Territory of Hawaii" next weekend and I will post one review, bumbye.

Hanabata Days

2009-09-01T15:34:00.001-07:00

It's funny wen you tink back at all da stuffs you wen do small-kid time. tink about where you when live, what you wen eat, and what you did for fun:

Hanabata Days was full of bare feet and bee stings,

Had Ice cake and school lunch

Snack time I always had fruit roll-up or graham crackers

But all da odda guys had nori and hi-chew

Hanabata Days was May Day and Buta Hunt wit Frank Delima

was chasemaster and no masterbacks

had rainy days, which meant board games on the lanai at school

Connect Four was da bestess

Had Mr. Tanji da skool cook

and Ms. Lima da skool nurse

Had Reading Rainbow and da Book Fair

and Family Fun Nite

Hanabata Days we used to make kukui nut sailboats

and race 'em in the gutter wen had choke rain

Catch Crawfish in the auwai

and make 'em fight

Hanabata Days was Pick- Up- Sticks and Linkin Logs

was nap time, pledge of allegiance, and da bugel horn at 8am

was late for school and wait for mom to pick us up

was soccer in the front yard

Hanabata Days was care free, no worries

always had nuff

even if neva have choke

Where did dose days go?

Pidgin-English Translations

2009-08-31T13:53:00.000-07:00

K-den is equivalent to "see you later, adieu, until we meet again, or good bye."

Shoots is equivalent to "yes, in agreement with, to concur."

Bum Bye is equivalent to "at a later time, when the time is

convenient, later."

Da Kine is equivalent to "Whatchamacallit."

Da Kine is Cold

Pidgin ABC's

2009-08-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

"Pidgin ABC's"

Aloha 'Oe

Bum bye

Carang ya alla's

Da kine

'Eh no act

Faka wot

Guarrans Bo Berrans

Hawaiian

If can, can, bruddah man

Junk yours one

K-den...

Li hing mui,

Manapua ,

Nuff already

Opu full of...

Pau Hana,

sQuid Luau,

Rambutan,

Shoyu Poke,

Tantarant,

Under pants get pooka panty,

Vana too!!!

Why, Bodd

a you???

X-tra large shoyu chicken,

You stay Hungry?

next stop....Zippy's.

How Come Moke's Like Heineken?

2009-07-31T14:19:00.000-07:00

I neva undastan' why Moke's like Heineken?

Like its someting special?

So mento

, cuz Moke's always complaining about da frickin' haoles

But Heineken stay from Holland

Da most Haole-ist place on earth.

Da stupid bottle is green,

Who the hell cares!!

You would tink Moke's would like Brown bottles, cuz dey stay brown

But NO...Dey like da stupid green bottle.

Besides, got choke beers from places wit brown people

How come dey no support dose guys?

Get Steinlager, Red Stripe, Hinano...Even get Primo!!!

How come get brown people, who no like white people

but da same guys support white people beer?

no make sense...

LOL...White-People-Beer.

Introduction to Pidgin

2009-07-28T16:21:00.000-07:00

Small kid time

My faddah neva speak pidgin to me

Always had fo' speak propa

So I could get good grades

An' go one good school

Fo' get one good job

An' no be BROKE ASS.

Small kid time

I love fo' play soccer

All I wanted fo' do was play soccer

But my madda,

She stay one procrastinata, eh?

She wen wait SO long fo' sign me up AYSO

Dat da team was all full already

I was so PISS OFF

She wen sign me up for play wit one team in Kalihi

So me, I no care, I just like play

I show up first day practice

Ready to go, no scared 'em, go get 'em

I no say nuttin to nobody, just play

Whistle blows, practice pau

Couple guys come ova and start talkin' to me,

"Wot bah, tink you can lick me?" he says

Confused I look at him,

"Yeah, I can lick you...but that's gross," I say

Him and his friend start buss up laughing

"Stupid, Haole!" they laugh and walk away.

Me, still dazed and confused.

Introduction to Pidgin

Ho Bah, Mean Dis Blog!

2009-07-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

Aloha, an' welcome to my bran new blog! Dis blog is goin' be dedimacated to da beautiful language us guys call Pidgin. Goin' have stories and poems and odda kine stuffs all written in Pidgin for your viewing pleasure. Tanks fo' stopping by, an' come back bum-bye.

Obey the Dirty Pidgin!!!!